ODE to my intuition

“Well I quite my job and now the world is wide open to me”. “So you don’t have a plan or a new job?” “Nope, but I have worked at the same place for about four years now, so I’m sure I’ll find something interesting”. “And what about you?” He looked at her. “So why did you decide to become self-employed? “Was it because you wanted more flexibility?” “Yes, of course. Now I can decide everything myself. My time.” I couldn’t help listening to their conversation, as they were sitting opposite me at the same table at a workshop last night. I have never met them before, but strangely enough I felt like the message was for me…

Sometimes you can’t help overhearing other peoples conversations (especially if they are really loud). And I do believe, that there could be a message coming through to me that way. Lately I have been confronted with my decision about quitting my job many times. Most of them positive, but others just can’t understand why that was really necessary. And while I must admit, that when it’s not easy and I start to loose faith, that things will work out in the end, I end up doubting myself. And everything.

I recently read a very interesting blog, which mentions a scene from Sex and The city. After reading it, all I could think about was one of my (many) favorite lines from the TV-series (and funny enough it’s also something said by Samantha). “Well stop f****** complaining about it and do something about it”. It makes me think about, yes there are things I have no control over. And yes, it’s not an easy thing to just leave your “comfortable job” (and salary), to pursue something else – a new career. Finding out what you love doing (apart from travelling) and how you want your work life (balance) to be.

So what have I done, since I started this blog in February? There’s a book in your book case. The cover is all yellow. Will you let me finish? It sums things up pretty well, on what you have been doing, and what you will be doing. And I promise you, you do not need to worry. Easy for you to say, intuition. Yes, very easy, but also very true. Ok then, which page? Did you say 78? And 122? Both. Ok then. Let’s see. Yellow book, yellow book. This one? Yes.

Page 78: first line: “When you get up in the morning, what do you look forward to?” Of course that makes me realise that yes, I have made the right decision and (news flash) I am currently working (since last week) as a volunteer for a small NGO, who helps people in prisons in Zambia. I am going through their website – bulletproofing and making notes of all my ideas on what I can write about (articles, social media etc.), It’s nice to wake up and do something, that makes sense to me. And write – win-win!

Page 122: (Intuition, you do make me smile sometimes. I take this message VERY personal, as you probably did intend for me to do. And on that note, I’ll let you have the last word in this post. And sorry for forgetting to take the picture of the letters ODE, which was the graffiti on the building opposite were the workshop was yesterday – and staring at me all afternoon): “I don’t know if I am good, but I’m gonna F****** have a go. I find people are quite scared about writing things. I might not be the greatest writer in the world but I will throw myself at it. I’m quite happy to risk failure”.