I know it’s late, but it will make you feel better. It will make you feel more at ease. Relieved. Reassured. Go and draw a card now, before you go to bed. I promise you, it will all work out. Saturday I found the purple butterfly, which is on today’s picture. My oldest daughter had placed it there. Sunday (whilst doing what seems like endless piles of laundry) I discovered the butterfly-sticker, which my youngest daughter had played with the other day. It had survived a trip in the washing machine and literately flew out of the machine, when I opened it.
I didn’t write anything on Friday (another Friday without a post). This time I got caught up in this thing called life and responsibilities. Motherhood. And the need for having some sort of a social life. I spend another day looking after my youngest, as she was not that well to go to daycare. And in the evening we saw some friends for dinner. Saturday I still couldn’t get over myself and the fact, that I didn’t write anything on Friday. And I started to think about the reason I write (and post). I had absolutely no time doing so on Friday, but I felt really bad, as I Thursday had written, “That there is no such thing as being to tired for me. I will get the answers anyway”. So did not writing anything on Friday mean, that I wasn’t walking the talk? And besides that, I couldn’t feel my intuition. Had it given up on me? What to do?
Saturday I felt even lower, right up until before I went to bed. I shuffled the cards (as instructed). It seemed to take forever. Keep going, the intuition said. You will know, when it’s time to stop. I kept going, and started to feel a bit impatient. It was definitely taking a lot longer, than I had tried before. It was late. I was tired and cranky. When I finally stopped, I was told to draw the card on the top. Really? Again? Not wanting to argue (any more with myself) before bedtime, I turned the card on the top. I instinctively covered my mouth with my hand. I was speechless. Later I thought about why we sometime cover our mouths. Why do we do that? Does it mean don’t speak, just listen? Chock? In this case I think, that’s what it meant.
“You drew this card because the answers you seek lie in your feelings and emotions. Trust your intuition and the power of your natural psychic abilities! Also, pay attention to your dreams and any intuitive messages you receive, as they’re accurately guiding you. No need to race to action right now, however. Instead take time to gain more insight, since things may not be as they appear on the surface. Withdraw from the noise of daily life and ask for guidance from your angels and guides. Everything will be revealed to you in time; just have patience”.
I couldn’t help thinking about patience. It is almost non existing for me. OK I don’t have it. I want things to happen now, or preferably yesterday. When I think about something, I want to do or somewhere I want to visit, it has to be now. And when people tells me things like, things take time or it’s a process, stay focused, I just want to scream into a pillow. I don’t respond well to, well let’s see shall we or maybe next year, I want things (done) now. After all I am a Sagittarius (as some of you might be well aware of). I got engaged in June, pregnant in July, discovered it in August and got married in October (almost 5 years ago).
Anyway I can’t help wandering if my intuition somehow is trying to tell me something. That I need to learn to be a bit more patient with things. The intuition showed me the butterflies throughout the weekend. The butterflies belonging to my daughters. And it got me thinking, that I do need to slow down a bit, and kind of just let things happen for a while. They don’t need a mommy stressing about not having time to write. They need a mommy, who is present. And why do I write? Well first of all, I do it for me. Because I love it. Because I can’t stop. Because it is me. Who I am. A writer.
My intuition has this weekend proven the point, that I need to be more patient. And keep writing. It is not leaving my side, it just needs me to slow down a bit. And, I suspect, show me something more. Teach me something more. I actually started writing this post yesterday. And when it got really late, my intuition just said: patience, it’s OK to go to bed now. Over the weekend I have realised, that it’s not about how much or when I write.
After all I have responsibilities and two precious girls, who need their mommy. I can’t write all the time, and that’s OK. I see that now. Patience. Present. Patient.