Yesterday as I was driving home, from seeing a friend, the strangest thing happened to me. I saw something, sensed something. And then I got goosebumps all over.
I once got on the wrong night bus, on my way home. I had been out with some coworkers, but somehow I got on the wrong bus and by the time I became aware of it, I had no idea where I was. This was back in the days before internet and mobiles, so I couldn’t just check where I was and how I could get home. I got of the bus and realised that I had no idea on how to get home and that I also really needed to go to the bathroom.
It was in the middle of the night. A busy road in London but non of the pubs or restaurants were still open. The only thing that was there was a tiny little newsagent/shop. Being very desperate for the toilet, I went in there and asked, if they had one I could please use. I was directed to the back of the shop in a tiny (and may I say absolutely disgusting unclean toilet. To put it mildly). Anyway, when you have to go, you have to go.
As I left the shop, (feeling a lot better and with a coke in my hand. I felt obligated to buy something in return of the nice gesture) I went to look at the map by the busstop, and a man came towards me. I asked him for directions and he seemed to know exactly where I was to go to catch the right bus home.
So yesterday while driving, I admit, that a lot of thoughts are coming to mind, when I’m driving. I have (being an overthinker) been thinking about it. A lot. And I have come to the conclusion, that it must have something to do with me being alert, focused and aware of my surroundings, when driving. You have to, right? You want to put all your focus on driving, when driving. Paying attention and staying alert in the traffic is your main goal, when driving, right? And not looking at your phone or anything else, that will distract you.
I can’t help wandering if that means, that if I focus more, I will then feel more guided on what, where and when to start in order to pursue a career as a writer. It sounds pretty easy. Just focus and you’ll get the messages, that you need and then know what to do. But is it really that simple? Is focusing the answer and if so, how do you do it? Does it mean, that I have to meditate more often, because that will help me to be more focused? And cutting myself off from anything that might me distracting? Is that the best way to get closer to, what to do, how to act and how you can feel more sure of knowing, that you’re heading in the right direction?
OK, so back to the story (see how easily I am getting distracted?) Anyway, it was raining and the sky was covered in low hanging dark clouds. All of a sudden I saw two hands shaping a heart in the sky. I saw the fingers, the heart. The clouds had formed this picture. I instantly got goosebumps all over. I have never felt like that before. I have never seen that before. I understand if you think this is strange, unreal or unbelievable. It is to me as well. But it overwhelmed me so much. I felt safe. Like I was shown, that I was loved. And safe. Like someone was holding my heart. Looking after it and looking after me. Like saying, don’t worry. It will all be OK. I found myself changing the radiostation and there was a man talking about looking inwards, meditating and living a certain way. Certain believes. Certain values.
It got me thinking about feeling safe and how powerful it really is. Try to think about one episode where you afterwards have thought, OK I was not scared or worried when it happened, but looking back at it, it could have gone all wrong. Why wasn’t I worried or scared? Was it because someone was watching over me? Was it because something inside you subconsciously were telling you to stay calm and not to worry? Can you explain it?
Safe, a feeling brought to you by others (or something) or coming from within? Or both? What does it take to be safe? And do you value it? And can you get to where you want to be on your own or do you need help from others (or something) to help point you in the right direction?