Today is day 2 of my 5 week challenge on finding my silver lining – finding happiness again. Trying to find out which path to follow in order to feel better about myself, to feel happy again. So what is it I need to do in order to find that feeling?
When I first got the idea to give myself the 5 week challenge (and to write about it) I started making a list in my head. What can I do to look after myself (I will get to the list in a minute) Over the past years I have not listen to myself or my body. Or I may have listened but I didn’t pay much attention and overheard and over looked the signs that I wasn’t looking after myself well enough. I have been driving to work feeling psychically ill with headaches and feeling like any minute I would have to pull over, put the window down and be sick. I have sat in the parking space outside my child’s daycare crying with a big nut in my stomach and every fiber in me telling me to stop and slow down. But I turned the key and forced myself to drive to work and carry on like nothing was wrong.
Back then I thought I didn’t have a choice, so I was complaining about my job and how hard it was with a young child in the house and just really feeling sorry for myself. I thought that was the only way. I had to go to work every day so I could put food on the table right? I had to support my child and pay the bills. After a while I was feeling so ill with stress crying over nothing and I couldn’t even look forward to my daughter’s 1st birthday.
So now here I am, almost 3 years later and added another child to the family, finally thinking that if I don’t look after myself now I am not going to survive or I will end up blocking out all emotions and constantly trying to fit in and accept that things can’t get any better. But I refuse to settle for that. I want to be happy again and live. Not just surviving.
So back to the list I did. I put down things like yoga, massage, going to the hairdressers, talking to a various of therapists, eating better, going for a walk, see my friends more, going shopping (who doesn’t like shopping?), baking breads and cakes for my family (baking is one of my hobbies :-)) and follow my intuition (I will get back to this another day – maybe tomorrow? As I believe that it will help me in order to feel better and find my silver lining).
But… when I wrote the list I realized that I forgot one essentiel thing that is necessary, in fact vital in order to make any good plans or decisions. A basic need that is much underestimated and something I haven’t had much of since I had children – REST! So on that note, that is my task for today.