For the past six months I have been seeing and hearing things (I think I have for a much longer time. Maybe always? But I have not been paying much attention to it). Signs, small films or podcasts, if you like. As an inner voice, guide – my intuition. I have been given so many signs, shown numbers, opened books on pages that instinctively gave me the answer I felt I needed at the time. I have focused and looked for signs everywhere. I wanted a sign for everything. And I got it.
I wanted reassurance that I was on the right track. So much that I wanted to interpreting everything. But yesterday I got to a point were I somehow found, that I don’t need any more signs and reassurance. And I think I’m (slowly) coming to the conclusion that I need to stop doing that and do something else, as it is no longer getting me anywhere closer to a decision on what to do. I have asked for signs long enough.
Yet I still feel like I’m somehow starting from square one – what is it I need to do with my life? What is my life’s purpose? Isn’t that what we all want to understand? To reach? So we can be calm. Stop running towards or away from something and simply just be. Be happy, be content, be feeling thankful and worthy? Satisfied with our lives?
I can’t help wondering if we are chasing something that is unobtainable? Isn’t it part of life to still be searching for something? Continuously? Whether that is a partner, a new career, new home, new hobby, new friends? Anything that will give us that feeling of belonging or at least in the moment, content? But for how long is it actually possible to stay in that feeling before a new feeling or thought will sneak up on us and we need more?
Is it just a case of how we humans are and have evolved? Because after we made fire and started cooking our food, we didn’t just sit down and say, well this is comfortable. We needed to create ships, conquer the world, make vehicles, airplanes (very simplified, I know – but you know what I mean 🙂 ). Or does it only happen when you haven’t reached your goal – your life’s purpose, that you keep pushing?
So what happens when you’re guided to slow down and just stay “in the process.” When your intuition basically says: please just trust, that everything will work out just fine? When you feel overwhelmed by the spiritual world? When you time after time see and hear things, that your ego would find impossible to ever obtain? You want more, you want to understand – why am I seeing all of this? Hearing all of this? But at the same time you’re told to let go and loose control, because you can’t take it all in at once anyway.
Today someone special to me asked: “If I could tell you exactly what you needed to do, what will bring you the biggest satisfaction in your life, make you feel content and fulfilled, tell you what your future will look like – would you really want to know?”
After we hung up, I took the blinds down in the office, I felt it was getting too hot to sit there and write at my desk. And as soon as I did, I understood that when we take time to shut out the world and focus on what’s coming from within, shut down from trying to control things, then we will understand that the most important thing is trust.
Trust that everything will be ok. Trust that you’re being guided to walk on the path meant for you. If you actually could and wanted to predict everything, would you want to do that? You would cut out the trying, the falling, the failure, the mistakes, but is it even possible to have a life with out?
What is life if everything is all known in advance? Could you still feel happy and content with your achievements if there were no bumps on the way?
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