Weekly update – 4/5

This morning as I was getting my oldest daughter ready for her daycare it suddenly hit me, that there was something about the way she was talking and reflecting on things, that made it sound like she wanted to be just like the other girls in her group. I guess it’s normal for children to want to fit in and be just like all the others. I told her it’s OK to be different and want to do something else. “If you feel like you want to do something, then don’t be afraid to do so and go for what you want”, I told her. When I came back home, I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had told her. Why was it that I could tell her that, with the greatest of belief, when I’m having such a hard time telling myself that? And with that in mind, it’s time to reflect on the week.

MONDAY I became aware of the same message I have been receiving in three different ways over that past months (at least since November last year). 1) via a 10 min. non-stop piece I wrote after I had tuned in, 2) a much similar answer I had received a couple of months ago and 3) through this woman, which workshop I attended on Sunday last week .

• Have I been so occupied with the question regarding what am I to do with my (work)life, that I have completely forgotten to really pay attention to the answer(s)? I think I have been trying to really listen, to keep an open mind and to understand how my inner voice and guide have been trying to direct me so much, that I haven’t really payed attention and done, what they had told me. Does that mean, they’ll give up on me now? Or is there still hope even after hearing the same message in three different disguises? It’s not just about listening and feeling excited (that you can find lost things just by asking). I realise that now.

TUESDAY started out as a day of indulging myself with a trip to the hairdressers. But as so many times before, it turned out not to be about that. Somehow the symbols was leading me to a special way of seeing and understanding life.

• After becoming aware of that I tend to see animals in all sort of things, I realised the power of symbols . For the past few days I had come across symbols within the same category: bird of prey, horse, bear, moose, feather. I don’t need to tell you the connection, right? Anyway, I have of course acted on it (especially due to my experience at the hairdressers, which kind of gave me the very last push. For more info, please read Tuesdays post 🙂 https://howtofindyoursilverlining.com/2019/02/26/the-power-of-symbols-17-25/ ) If all goes well, I will know more about it on Tuesday next week, so wish me luck and stay tuned.

WEDNESDAY I couldn’t shake of the number 11. It somehow keeps showing up and has done for what feels like a very long time (accurate time since around October last year). Despite having known that I somehow have to include and get to an understanding of what 11 means to me, I felt a strong need for tidying up. Only to find even more 11 and a feather flying out of an old book.

• I realise that I have to dig deeper into what number 11 means to me. How can I get to a better understanding (other than that of what a kind soul has shown me on Wednesday’s post? 🙂 ). Asking the inner voice/guide could be a good start, right? So why haven’t I just done that yet? Hang on, I think I might just do that. Right here. Right now. This is what I got: “A new start. Time to have fun. You need to go out into the world. Let light and love in your heart”. To me that validates what I’m doing right now. I’m having fun whilst doing something I really like doing: writing. I am sure more will come, when I’m ready. It has already been a pretty steep learning curve 🙂

THURSDAY I wrote about dreams and daring to dream. I was wondering if I’m out of dreams since I couldn’t even answer my husband, when he asked me what my dreams are. Can I learn how to dream again, despite being a product of this adult life called planning?

• I wonder if I can somehow unlearn all this planning (or at least not let it take over too much) and instead follow what makes me happy? Is that what dreaming is about? Whilst feeling very privileged and grateful, that I have made a lot of my dreams come true, is it possible to start over and create new dreams? Is dreaming what drives you or does it just drive you mad, if you can’t find them or make them come true?

FRIDAY is of course my day of reflecting and I can’t help thinking that next week is my last week of this 5 week challenge (please see https://howtofindyoursilverlining.com/2019/02/04/the-5-week-challenge/)

• And then what? Can I trust that I know what to do Friday next week? Or shall I start planning and deciding (I guess part of me is really stuck in that way of thinking) what to do now? Although at times I feel impatient and in a way that something is blocking me to really come out of my shell and really be me, stand on my own feet and not be afraid to dream new dreams, I also have a sense that things will work out (what, did I really write that? So I guess I must be on the right way to find my inner peace – my happiness 🙂 ). These past 4 weeks have been quite the adventure for me. A journey I know will lead me to my destiny – my silver lining. Because one thing I have learned so far is that I can’t be afraid to be different. I can’t spend my whole life trying to be like everyone else and fit in. Life’s just too short for that.