The other day I was thinking, that maybe I’ll skip writing these weekly updates, as it might seem a bit silly to “summon things up” after only four days of writing/listening/trying to pay attention – on the hunt for finding my silver lining. My inner peace. My path in life. But when I woke up this morning, I found myself looking forward to today’s post, as it gives me a time to reflect on how the week has been. I also gives me a sense of having a plan (although I know I have written about, how I can NOT plan everything (or anything, depending on how you look at it 😉 ). So in a way it contradicts everything, as it gives me a feeling of having some sort of control over this “project”. But I can’t help of wondering, if a combination of intuitive behavior and control could be the way forward? Is it even possible that these two can coexist?
MONDAY I couldn’t stop looking at this picture (please see Monday’s post), I had taken the weekend before during a walk in the forest with my family. As I looked closer, I found that the clouds in the picture looked like an angel (or a heart, although my initial attempt was to capture a bird of prey). I found myself guided to attend an event that evening with a woman called Angel, whom had a giant bird of prey posted on her website.
- The experience led me to think, that although you think you know, what you are looking at, it might not be, what you need to focus on. Is it possible you can focus on the wrong thing, whether it being finding a job, money or trying so desperately to find your path in life, that you miss the message, that you need the most? If walking too far down the “wrong” path (the one you know you shouldn’t, but you are afraid to stir away from, maybe because it’s the way you have know your whole life) can you then still be guided to change your direction, or can you get to a point of no return?
TUESDAY night I had to get up in the middle of the night (initially to try to shut up a kiddies book, that felt the sudden urge to play tunes at 2 am in the morning!) Half asleep I thought, I found it, but instead I found myself looking at a book about angels. In the morning I then felt obligated to open the book, thinking that it was my voice/my guide telling me to do so. But my heart wasn’t in it and I pushed it away.
- In a way I felt I was deceiving my intuition (is that even possible?) Had it not just handed my today’s post on a silver platter? I mean the voice was even whispering to me, that I needed to start talking to the angels. How many signs did I need? It got me thinking if it was me being too afraid to listen – or the intuition speaking a language I didn’t understand?
WEDNESDAY I felt slightly defeated and even more lost on the road to finding my silver lining, that I allowed myself to get caught up in my ego’s way of thinking, how I can find my inner happiness. I started to write a to-do-list and added tidying up all sorts of places in the house. Ending up putting too much pressure on what is even remotely humanly possible.
- The whole situation got me thinking, is it possible that if you stop listening to your intuition/inner voice are you thereby handing over more power to your ego? I couldn’t help wandering, what comes first the ego or the intuition?
THURSDAY I had decided it was time to reach out for help as my body was constantly make noises. Even though there seem to be no medical explanation for my condition, I decided it was time to visit someone, who could help me try to heal the trauma from my first birth.
- Could it be possible, that I in a way was accepting that things were like they were (especially when it came down to my lower back) or was I just too afraid to tap into my pain? My body was talking and I felt I was listening more than ever, but was my body listening too? If it hasn’t understood that I survived, does that mean it is not listening to me?