M(E; B)AKING

She tapped me on my shoulder from behind. I jumped. I was walking, almost running, in my own world. With music in my ears and late for work. I turned. I have never seen this woman before, but before I had a chance to turn off my Walkman, so I was able to hear what she was saying, she stuck the £5 note in my hand and walk passed me.

As I put the strawberries next to the bread, I had just taken out of the oven, I started to take pictures. From every angel. Bread first, strawberries first. I turned the breadboard. Removed things from the background, turned the light on and off. More pictures. I just couldn’t get it right. And at the same time my mind raising like mad trying to figure out the connection bread-strawberry and why this 21 year old story kept popping up in my head today. I knew I had to find the link, but how? Continue reading “M(E; B)AKING”

You can not hide from what’s inside

Yesterday I reversed my car all the way up to the front door of my house. For the three years, I have been living here, I have never done that before. I have always driven straight up the drive. Why? Perhaps I thought, it wasn’t possible, as it’s a long narrow drive and it may seem unrealistic, although I drive my tiny mommy-car? I don’t know why, I all of a sudden decided to do it yesterday, but it definitely got me thinking. How do I start this? I mean it’s been 26 (!) days since my last post? I wonder if there’s a book, that can help me get started? And as I stood in front of the book case, there was no doubt in my mind. As I held the book in my hands I tried to pay attention, what page could help me out? Nothing came to mind. For a moment I felt down. Frustrated. Was I setting myself up for failure (is that even possible?). Anyway, as I walked back to my laptop and put the book down next to it, it suddenly hit me what message, I needed to pay attention to. Or so I thought. Continue reading “You can not hide from what’s inside”

Back towards chest(nut)

A couple of days ago I heard the sentence “my gut feeling is telling me” at least 10 times. Within an hour. All in one TV program. From different people, who didn’t know each other. My gut feeling is telling me to do this, go there, stop seeing this person, finding another place to live. It was the answer to everything and definitely the most effective one, as it put an end to all further discussions or arguments in the program. It was indeed the final and ultimate showstopper. End of discussion. End of conversation. Continue reading “Back towards chest(nut)”

You have to start somewhere

But it’s a cookbook? How is that going to work? Now you’re really confusing me. I opened the book. How is this recipe ever going to help me? I am this close to quitting, and now you want me to look at a cookbook? I closed the book in despair. I couldn’t help wandering, if I was really loosing it this time (or just really hungry). Look again, the intuition said. Reluctantly I opened it again on page 58, as guided. It’s part of “Starters and light meals”, so? Please look again. “A modern version of beans on toast” – really? Continue reading “You have to start somewhere”

The eye of the beholder

Can you please tell me, if there’s anything else I need to include in her story, before I send it to her? I went for a walk. Nervous and restless. I felt like so much was at stake. What if she didn’t like the way, I had written her story? What if she couldn’t relate to it? Couldn’t recognise herself in the words? Not see her heart, her soul in the story? I felt like, the story was not finished, but couldn’t quite put my finger on why. I left the computer behind and went for a walk, knowing that I would find my answer outside. In nature. I don’t even have to be told any more. I just know. Continue reading “The eye of the beholder”

BOXED I(I)N

I don’t want this in my department. This is not how we do things around here. They looked down. I don’t know what its been like were you have worked previously, but I am telling you this now, this is not how I want it. A man walked by with his trolley. If there’s anything, that you find is not right or is missing, then you have to tell me straight away. As I told you, I don’t want this in my department. They nodded.Well, I’m glad we had this conversation, so you in the future can come and tell me, right? Continue reading “BOXED I(I)N”