She opened another can and started to eat the content of it. She ate fast. She was sitting a few seats in front of me on the bus. It was dark. I could only see the silhouette of her. The smell of the open cans was one thing, but the sound of her chewing the sausages was even more disgusting. It was like she never closed her mouth when chewing. It would be a very long bus ride, if she would carry on like that.
The sea was only a couple of hundred meters away. I rolled down the windows. I could definitely hear it. The sun came out that same second. It brought tears in my eyes. I had a lot relying on today. I felt I had build it up so much in my head and on my blog. Last night I could hardly fall asleep that’s how excited I was about going to the sea today. Excited in a good way. You know the butterflies. Happy. Singing. Dancing. I was looking for answers and today, I was sure that I would find them.
I sat down on the beach. The sea was as rough as I had imagined it would be. I sat there feeling anxious and impatient. Ok you got me out here and then what? I was hungry. You can’t pay attention to anything if you’re hungry, I guess? I ate my packed lunch and tried to meditate, focus and tune in. I couldn’t.
In my mind I pictured myself self sitting on the beach and then all the what’s, when’s and how’s would somehow magically take form in my notebook. All I needed to do was to put the pen to the paper and it would write itself. A complete plan. A business plan. A complete business plan. Nothing.
Was I trying to hard? Was I forcing it? Is there such thing as trying to force the Universe for answers? It got me thinking about how to balance between wanting, longing for a clue, a message, an answer and getting it when the time is right? When do you know it’s right? When do you know it’s the right time?
Could you be wanting something so badly, that you could over focus on it and it would never happen? Or can you trust, that you will get the right messages when you need them, were you need them? Or is there such a thing as being able to train your intuition to let you know, to answer you, when you felt you needed the answer or does that just mean, that that is the right time?
The thoughts were many and confusing. I decided to go for a walk along the beach. I saw a big piece of wood that was washed up on the beach. I wondered where it came from. I walked on the wet sand, although risky it was easier to walk on the firmer sand, than the dry and loose sand. Was that my message? That I took risks and wasn’t afraid to get my shoes wet? It didn’t feel like it. I guess, I already knew that.
I noticed that I looked down all the time, trying to time my footsteps with the waves. I decided I could carry on without looking down. But then I noticed something in the sand. Well there were lots of things lying on the shore. Mainly seashells and lots of little stones.
I picked up a little stone. The one on the left of the picture. I turned it. Was that an eye? Looking like a fish or maybe a whale? I decided to keep it. I felt like my intuition was quiet or was it just silenced by the ego saying this is crazy? Did you really think you could just go to the beach and then you would know exactly what you can offer clients?
I looked down again. What was so special about me? Why would anyone ever hire me? And then I saw the stone in the top of the picture. Was that another set of eyes? A face? A fish? Shortly after I found the small stone on the right. I looked at it. Definitely a set of eyes. Looked almost like a little penguin. Eyes? And then it hit me. And I got the answers to the above questions.
- Q What is so special about me and what can I offer clients?
- A Your capability to see.
- Q Why would anyone ever hire me?
- A You can help them to see. Find their intuition.
But how and why did that story from the bus come to mind? The bus stopped and it was time for a toilet-stretch-the-legs-get-refreshments-break and as I left the bus I saw the woman, who had been making all these noises when eating. She barely had a tooth in her mouth. I felt so bad that I had sat there in the dark on the bus finding myself getting more and more annoyed with her. All because I couldn’t see her, because when I did, I felt her pain and her sadness.
And then something happened (in my mind), that got me to cover my mouth with my hand and stop breathing for a moment. You know the feeling, when you get very surprised or choked about something. It happens sometimes, when something clicks or how can I explain it, when something feels so real, like a dream, a vision.
I saw myself sitting on a sofa in the TV program “Good morning Denmark”. I heard the hostess’ voice, I saw her. “And so you quit your job after you had been on maternity leave with your youngest daughter? And then after a while you decided to create your own business? That must have taken a lot of courage, I mean you also had two little ones to take care of, right? And so now you help people, who have lost contact with their souls? You guide them to their intuition and how to trust and follow it?”
It was time to pack it up and drive back and pick up the children. Was it really what I was going to do? Help people? Two days ago I did hear the intuition talk about that, but I let it go, because that couldn’t be right? Or could it? I felt like I needed more signs. From now on I just want to see the number 11, to confirm something, please, I said closing the car door and for some reason, I wanted to take one more picture before I left. Just one more of this beautiful beach.
I looked at the picture, was that number 11? Although a bit far apart, is was obvious to me 🙂
While finishing this post I got an email from the woman who hosted my very first intuition workshop, last year. Asking me and the other people, who were attending it, if we wanted her to plan a new intuition training workshop. I haven’t heard from her since April. And then I covered my mouth again (twice in one day!!). I did it because I realised, that I now have another question of mine answered: What to do next?
I looked at the question I had asked on this blog two days ago and I realised, that I had just answered my own question. Yes, I see.