She tapped me on my shoulder from behind. I jumped. I was walking, almost running, in my own world. With music in my ears and late for work. I turned. I have never seen this woman before, but before I had a chance to turn off my Walkman, so I was able to hear what she was saying, she stuck the £5 note in my hand and walk passed me.
As I put the strawberries next to the bread, I had just taken out of the oven, I started to take pictures. From every angel. Bread first, strawberries first. I turned the breadboard. Removed things from the background, turned the light on and off. More pictures. I just couldn’t get it right. And at the same time my mind raising like mad trying to figure out the connection bread-strawberry and why this 21 year old story kept popping up in my head today. I knew I had to find the link, but how? Continue reading “M(E; B)AKING”
A couple of days ago I heard the sentence “my gut feeling is telling me” at least 10 times. Within an hour. All in one TV program. From different people, who didn’t know each other. My gut feeling is telling me to do this, go there, stop seeing this person, finding another place to live. It was the answer to everything and definitely the most effective one, as it put an end to all further discussions or arguments in the program. It was indeed the final and ultimate showstopper. End of discussion. End of conversation. 
I put another film in the VCR. The curtains where drawn blocking out all lights. For the next three days nothing was planned. No sightseeing, restaurants, meeting new people. Out side, was the most beautiful sights. Amazing mountains and wildlife. A completely different country and culture, yet with a familiar language, that I had build a very special connection with, despite not being my native. I felt a bit foolish to be on the other side of the world (literally), and then blocking it all out for a few days. 
The smell became worse and worse. Like something was on fire. I sensed the smoke. People started coughing around me. All of the sudden the people in the back of the bus started to panic and scream and shout. STOP the bus, it’s burning! As I ran out onto the German Autobahn in the middle of the night, I had no idea what was going to happen. 
I felt like my eyes couldn’t close. But I need to meditate? I need to know today’s message? Surely that’s the best way to start? But I couldn’t. I just sat there. Eyes wide open (despite NES, Never Enough Sleep). Staring at the rhubarb outside in the garden. Go there, and just stand there for a while. But there will be no picture? No, because you already have the picture for today. You just need to go there. Knowing not to argue (too much) with my intuition, I of course went and stood as closely to the rhubarb as possible. And then I understood the message. 
I need you to see the endless opportunities you have. I will always guide you and give you the messages you need to know, when you need to know them. There’s a book in the room, where your daughter is sleeping, where I can show you, what you need to think about. But you need to be in charge and make things happen. I cannot do that for you. I will guide you, never doubt that. You can do whatever you want. It will all work out. You’ll see. You don’t need to write a long post in order to get your message across. 
How to find your Silver Lining 