The wings beneath my energy – 25/25

I came across 01:11 and 11:01 within a very short time today (and a numerous of times within the past months). I knew there would be a 3rd, but what would the connection be? What does number 11 mean to me?

I sat stirring at the screen. My last day of the 5-week challenge on the hunt to find my silver lining – my happiness. Had I done everything I could? Had I given it my everything and listened?had I crossed out everything on my list? Had I read and understood all the symbols? Or was I still afraid to listen? For 24 days I have written something coming from within. From my soul. And now it was coming to an end. I felt so sad. Like saying goodbye to a dear friend. The end of a truly great holiday. I wanted to stay in my own bubble. Dancing to the music in my heart. My own little writing world. You need to come out, the voice said. The time is now.

So I went with it (especially since I feel like I’ve been on a 5 week-listen-pay-attention-boot-camp of finding the answers). No words were coming to me anyway – had the GPS gone silent? Remembering there’s no time like the present – the time is now. So after days of being cubed up inside due to ridiculously heavy rain, which never seemed to want to stop, I followed the directions. The weather had changed into sunshine, yet very windy. But I didn’t care. The song, I came across whilst finding my own bubble of energy, playing in my ears. The song starting at 1.00.11 within the podcast. You’re the first thing and the last thing on my mind.

As I walked along the windy country lane, small sticks and dirt flying in my face, I realised that “coming out” would mean, that I would come across obstacles, head wind and trouble moving forward. Was that what was holding me back? I listened to the lyrics, I tried to work things out. What could I do to spread the word, that I wanted to become a writer? I wanted to turn around. Walk home, so I would have a tail wind. You need to walk just a little bit further, the voice said. Around me animals appearing. Shaped out of trees, plants, clouds. I kept walking. Felt like my head was going to explode. I couldn’t help of wondering if I was trying too hard to see the symbols. To make the connection. To see the big picture. To understand my journey, my inner voice, my guide. In your arms I feel sunshine.

I got to the point of the path, of which I had been told to go to. I looked up and saw today’s picture. The lyrics almost manifesting inside me. I took the picture. Could it be? I would have to look up the text again (you know from my picture on this blog. The archangel Gabriel, as I couldn’t help wondering if that was what was on the picture – angel wings (or was it number 11 in disguise?) – angel of hearts. All the promise. A daydream yet to come.

As I turned to walk home, heavy wind in my back, I couldn’t help of wonder, if someone was watching over me, and had done the whole time. No matter how many detours I felt like, I’ve been on in my life. Was it their (my guides – guardian angels) way of telling me, that I need to seek comfort outside, in the nature? Or did they want me to feel safe – and for my body to finally let go of the traumas? The past? And how would it all be unfolded? Flowers blossom. In the wintertime. In your arms I feel Sunshine.

I reached for the guidebook of the angel cards. Archangel Gabriel was number 12. Somehow my finger got stock on 11 (surprise!(d?)). OK I did write yesterday that we needed to come “face to face”– number 11 and I. The book said: “You need to know that you’re stronger than you realise. You can definitely handle your currant situation. The strength that this situation calls for comes from the softness of spiritual core. Your strength and effectiveness increase as you believe in yourself and your ability to grow from the experience you have in life. Look upon challenges as opportunities to learn and apply your knowledge and magical touch”. Tempted by fate.

Days ago I had the feeling, that I need to step outside. To reveal the real me and dare to dream, that I can turn my life around and become what I need to be. To follow the music. The drum beat. The number of my energy. My silver lining. To write. And I won’t hesitate. The time is now.

I hereby close the 5 week challenge-chapter. Next week a new chapter will begin. I’ve found my courage to act. And I can’t wait. I’ve been empty too long. Pretending that it’s gone. And the time has come.

You’re the first thing and the last thing on my mind. In your arms I feel sunshine. All the promise. A daydream yet to come. Flowers blossom. In the wintertime. In your arms I feel Sunshine. Tempted by fate. And I won’t hesitate. The time is now. And I can’t wait. I’ve been empty too long. Pretending that it’s gone. And the time has come. Let’s make this moment last.

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